We Must Make It Better

Recently Rick Mercer, a Canadian television personality, let his weekly "rant" shed light on a very dark topic.  Teen suicide.  More specifically, teen suicide due to anti-gay bullying.  This is a topic that requires more than just discussion, it requires something to be done.  Indeed, Mercer calls for action.  He demands that all gay adults become the role models to gay teens that they so desperately need;  "Adults don't need role models, teens do".  He calls out schools to deal with the bullying the same way that schools deal with vandalism - to search out the teens who bully and deal with them.  If they cannot be found, find those who know - the culture of teens and of bullies is such that their actions are not kept secret.  We live in a world where teens post their lives, their most intimate thoughts and their most public feelings onto the web - they are there for all to see if you care to look.I believe that even this is not enough, although it is a start.  As a teacher (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, questioning, two-spirited...or even straight) I am a role model.  It was drilled into me in teacher's college - I am held to a higher standard and as such must stand straighter, speak louder and act with intelligence.  It is important for teens to be able to see adults who mirror their own situation, but they also need to see adults who support their plight and who do not allow bullying (of any kind, for any reason) to be excused.
Last month I had a student miss school for a week and a half because a group of schoolmates were bullying her.  The bullying extended to threats via the internet.  She was afraid to attend school and voiced concern at bringing the school into the issue to deal with her bullies.  She did not want to make the situation worse.  If we are supposed to have a zero tolerance for bullying in our schools, why was my student's answer to stop attending school and not to involve the school's administration?  She was afraid.  She was fearful of what would happen if she attended school.  She was scared to have the bullies dealt with when she finally returned to school.  Regardless of why she was being bullied, she needed more than just a role model.

We need an environment where bullying is viewed the same way as stealing or bodily violence...and dealt with accordingly....including over the internet;  the choice weapon for many of today's teen bullies.  The new buzz words these days are Digital Citizenship - in other words, being cyber-smart.  Just as in the real world, where you must be accountable for your actions, in the cyber world your posts still have impact and consequences.  Information, images, statuses and comments all go out onto the wide world web and are there for all to see/read. We know that bullying leads to lowered self esteem.  Poor self worth is one of the major contributors to teen suicide.  We also know that hate must be taught.  Stereotypes and hierarchies are a major part of teen culture.  They say that love is stronger than hate.  We must teach respect and acceptance.  We have to get teens to buy into the idea that bullying equates to violence.  We must show them that bullying will not be overlooked or ignored.  We must be role models.  All of us.

It is not enough to call out the gay adults in our governments, media, communities and schools to stand up and become role models.  It is a start, but not the end.  It is not enough for us to say "don't worry, it will get better" (the standard answer when we have no solution).  We must all stand together.  We must ALL become role models for all teens suffering from bullying of any kind (including anti-gay bullying) as well as positive role models for our teens who bully.  Our message cannot be "it gets better".  Our message must be "we will make it better together and we will make it better now".